Alive
by cdunbar
Summary: A little one-shot that shows an alternative ending to Shadow Kissed. One where Dimitri didn't falter.


**A/N:** This is for the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead, **NOT Twilight**. If you're one of my Twilight readers, you're welcome to read this, but let me warn you now that if you haven't read the series, this isn't going to make much sense.

I refuse to accept the reality which was given to me and will now interject my own. Basically, I had to write this, or I was going to go insane.

Milaya = Russian for 'sweet', as in 'my sweet'.

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the VA series or its characters, Richelle Mead owns all.

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**Alive**

I woke up in a cold sweat, reaching out with one hand toward the scene that had just played before my eyes. Gasping for much needed air, images from my dream I had just woken up from flickered through my mind, making me reach out again, but this time my hand found what I was looking for.

Or rather, _who_ I was looking for.

"Roza," Dimitri said, startled into consciousness by my touch. The concern and love running through my name made me feel instantly better. "Did you have the dream again?"

He didn't need to specify which dream because we both knew which one it was. I had the same nightmare night after night. Sometimes the length or events changed, but it always ended the same way.

Dimitri died before my eyes.

"Yes," I whispered, more shaken up then I cared to admit. But he knew.

He always knew.

Pulling me into his arms, I rested my forehead against his warm, firm chest and wrapped my arms around him the best I could since we were both turned on our sides in bed.

"It happened eight months ago. I thought the dreams would have stopped by now," he said, his lips moving against my hair as he spoke.

"I don't think I'll ever get over it," I rasped, a lump forming in my throat. "You almost died."

"But I didn't, Milaya," Dimitri pointed out. For the millionth time.

I shook my head and pulled back to see his face. "The point is that I almost lost you. It's going to haunt me, regardless of what actually happened."

He raised a hand to cup my cheek. "I hate seeing this pain inside of you."

"I hate it too, but what can I do? Losing you" – I broke off to take a deep breath because Dimitri's demise was still fresh in my mind – "Losing you would kill me."

"Oh, Roza," he murmured, stroking his thumb along my cheek bone. "You need to stop living in 'what could have been' and focus on the present. You're here, I'm here, and we're both alive."

I scowled a bit at that, leaning into his chest again. "Practical as always, comrade."

"I'm serious, Rose. Stop dwelling in the past. I don't want you to see my death every time you close your eyes. I'd rather you dream peaceful, beautiful things." His voice was so earnest and caring that I reluctantly smiled.

"I'll see what I can do," I finally said. He hugged me closer to him for a second, and then released me.

"Let's try having some undisturbed sleep for once," he suggested, settling back into his pillow while keeping me close. An urge to be… well, to be me suddenly came over me.

"Why? Like you said – I'm here, you're here, and we're both alive…" I tried to say that last part as sultry as I could while trailing one hand down his bare chest. Dimitri grabbed my wrist before I could reach my intended destination and rolled us both until he was hovering over me. I smiled up into this face, loving that I could put that light and amusement into his eyes.

"Yes, we are," he agreed, right before lowering his head to kiss me. It started out slow and sweet, but quickly escalated when I ran my free hand down his side and then pushed down on his lower back until he collapsed on top of me.

_Much better_, I purred in my head, reveling in the feel of the full length of his body weighing down mine.

Dimitri released my wrist and buried both of his hands in my hair, turning my head for a better angle to deepen our kiss. I moaned and wrapped myself around him, needing to get closer. His hands slipped under the thin tank top I wore and we parted for the briefest of seconds so he could pull it off me. I never tired of the feel of his hands plumping and lightly tugging my breasts.

He trailed a line of wet kisses down my throat and chest, and then softly bit down on the tip of my breast. I arched into him, gasping at the intense pleasure laced with slight pain that one action caused in me. I clawed at his back, trying to get him back up to my mouth, but he other plans.

After swiping my nipple with the flat of his tongue, he continued trailing kisses down my stomach and hooked his thumbs under the elastic band of my underwear. With the excruciatingly slow pace of a snail, he inched my last piece of clothing down my legs and flung it aside.

"Dimitri," I breathed, pulling on his hair desperately in one last attempt to get him lined up with me again. I needed him inside me. His eyes flashed wickedly a split second before he draped one of my legs over his shoulder and flicked my aching, pulsing cunt with the tip of his tongue. My back bowed again, overwhelmingly brilliant pleasure shooting through my body.

When my breathing leveled out once more, Dimitri bent his head and settled in for a long torture session. His tongue alternated between broad, heavy strokes and light, teasing flicks with no rhythm or reason behind them. He led me so close to the edge, only to switch again and prolong my suffering. I reached and reached for a release, but each time I was denied… until, at last, Dimitri pressed that glorious, wicked tongue against my clit and pushed two fingers inside me, moving them in and out at a fast, furious pace.

Something inside me snapped.

My entire body clenched down as I screamed, grasping for something, anything to hold on to. The world disappeared into a blinding white light and I floated along in euphoria, only coming out of it when I felt Dimitri make his way up my body and spread apart my legs.

He gripped my hips to angle me up slightly and then he slid inside me in one stroke. I stirred to life, running my hands down his back to feel his muscles move underneath my fingers.

This was my heaven – the feel of him sliding in and out of me; the pressure building in the pit of my stomach; our gasping breath and the slap of skin filling the room; the look of complete adoration and shining love on his face.

I loved him so much in that moment, it hurt.

It only took a moment more of his ministrations before I came again, gasping his name as I did. Dimitri picked up the tempo and soon after joined me, grunting in satisfaction as he spilled himself inside me.

We basked in post-orgasm glow, occasionally whispering our love to one another, while we waited for feeling to return to our limbs. Dimitri eventually rolled off me, holding me close as he stretched out on his back.

The silence was comfortable and not something I wanted to break with any ol' thing. So I said the only thing I could.

"You're never getting rid of me."

Dimitri laughed, his entire body shaking against me. "That's good because you're all I want," he replied once his laughter died down, his words melting my heart.

I sank into his warmth and my eyes slowly closed of their own accord after a few more moments of companionable silence. I fell asleep in his arms, the only place I wanted to be, and had the best, uninterrupted sleep since that dreadful day had occurred.

Not that I was worried about having the dream again, because I knew deep down that I was stronger than that dream. I would stop it next time before anything horrible happened.

After all, it was only a dream.

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**A/N:** That's how I see it, anyway.


End file.
